Woe Be The One Who Can No Longer Plan

I am a planner. I like to sit down and write down my course of action, what I want, and basically brainstorm a roadmap for myself. It helps with my anxiety because I know at what point I absolutely need to get things done by to be alright. This summer is not planned. There are a few markers, special dates, but nothing else is really set in stone. However, I'm not that worried or anxious. If I sat down and thought about the uncertainty of the next few months, sure I could send myself into a downward spiral of fear but I don't want to and I know better. Trusting in God is something I've never been good at but the few desperate times when I've succumbed to giving up trying to figure things out and just let nature set its course, I've been shocked to see the calamities magically solve themselves. That's God taking charge, helping a girl out.

Not knowing where I'll be in the next few years is terrifying. As someone who likes to know and have an understanding of the next steps ahead of time I cringe. So this is scary but it's doable. It's necessary I think because it forces me to truly trust in God. He's not really testing me, he's just pushing me in the right direction. The past few weeks I've learned a lot more about myself than I would have been able to had I made an intricate plan for this summer. It opened up opportunities that although were very stressing, were worth it because at one point I knew all I could do was pray and hope everything would turn out alright. It turned out better than alright too and I can't take sole responsibility for that. (Literally, 80% chance of rain and it never rained)

In any relationship, the feeling of love sways and fluctuates. What matters is the strength of the intimacy, the friendship, and the understanding that no matter what the other has their back. I love television and an example would be Adam and Kristina Braverman from NBC's show Parenthood. Together they conquered life's hardships and dealt with all of life's curve balls. Together they created and managed so much, it's incredible. All that they were able to achieve was only wrought from the strength of their individual persons acting as a whole and united force. 

But like love,our relationship with Christ will go through hardships but we must endure them with as much grace as possible. In those moments of despair, cry unto the lord because he will always be there. He will always be your partner and you both are a team. So let's build that deep trust and level of commitment to work together. (P.S I've always heard that prayer said from the heart at 3pm are especially heard by God.)

Put your trust in God. Let him help you out. Be humble with your successes and graceful of your failures. He's got a plan and he'll let you know when you're ready. Just don't lose faith. I believe in you and so does He.

Bible Verses to Read:

Isaiah 41:10

Jeremiah 29:11-14

Ups and downs - Galatians 6

It's been an interesting few months. I've been extremely busy with school and I was doing well with working towards strengthening my relationship with Christ but then I hit a snag and BAM I'm where I am now. I don't really know how it happened? I'm just here. Where is here? Here is not going to church every Sunday or even on good Friday. It is being selfish and not looking out for others. It is standing on my own strength and not on God (which doesn't work). Here is not where I want to be.

I know I lost my place by not praying, not reading the bible, and not going to church. My spiritual nourishment was not being replenished and my person became vulnerable to desires of the flesh: power, greed, the works. I didn't realize it until I had a nice long chat with my roommate and her boyfriend. They made me think about what I want and I can tell you, you wouldn't know from my actions. 

I've known I needed to get back into the Word and prayer. To get back in "the loop" you know, the one where God guides you and has a path laid out for you? Yeah I off-roaded it a bit these last few weeks. To do his will you have to be in the loop because on the outside you won't know the directions to go. I also see why my friend Billy said we should take one year of getting closer to God. It's been four months and although I'm not at square one, I'm not where I was. Life. You constantly have to work to keep God in your life and it's not a burden but reality and you should do it with love for the Lord. Don't do it to get good things but because He deserves unending praise and glory. 

Galatians chapter 6.

Key Notes: 

Iron sharpens iron. In the first bit, we see the importance and responsibility of Christians to hold each other accountable but not in a "better than thou" context. You can be proud of yourself but only for your accomplishments and never to judge yourself according to another. No one is better than anyone else as we all have our own burdens. Work as hard as you can, always. 

You sow what you reap. If you sow from the desires of the flesh, it will corrupt you. If you sow from the spirit, you will grow and have eternal life. Desires of the flesh have no other end game than worldly gains. Spiritual incentives always work toward increasing your faith and eternal life. Focus on what's important, when you lose focus pray and get re-nourished and re-centered in Christ. 

6:9 - "So you must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don't give up"

You will get there, just keep focusing and don't lose sight or hope of God's love, mercy, and power. 

Boast about Christ and his role in your life and the gifts he's given you and the faith and love he has for you. Look at all he's done for you. Look at all the positives. Thank him. If there's just negative, thank him for your life and your person and ask him to help you see the positives. 

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I saw a definite decrease in happiness the farther I got from Christ. The more I was falling back into the person I was and the sins that define my human nature. It is a reminder that Christ isn't a one stop unlimited tank you can receive from a few months of closeness but a continual replenishment that we need to keep strong throughout our lifetime. Spiritual replenishment is so important. It keeps us going and strengthens us mentally and spiritually.