Woe Be The One Who Can No Longer Plan

I am a planner. I like to sit down and write down my course of action, what I want, and basically brainstorm a roadmap for myself. It helps with my anxiety because I know at what point I absolutely need to get things done by to be alright. This summer is not planned. There are a few markers, special dates, but nothing else is really set in stone. However, I'm not that worried or anxious. If I sat down and thought about the uncertainty of the next few months, sure I could send myself into a downward spiral of fear but I don't want to and I know better. Trusting in God is something I've never been good at but the few desperate times when I've succumbed to giving up trying to figure things out and just let nature set its course, I've been shocked to see the calamities magically solve themselves. That's God taking charge, helping a girl out.

Not knowing where I'll be in the next few years is terrifying. As someone who likes to know and have an understanding of the next steps ahead of time I cringe. So this is scary but it's doable. It's necessary I think because it forces me to truly trust in God. He's not really testing me, he's just pushing me in the right direction. The past few weeks I've learned a lot more about myself than I would have been able to had I made an intricate plan for this summer. It opened up opportunities that although were very stressing, were worth it because at one point I knew all I could do was pray and hope everything would turn out alright. It turned out better than alright too and I can't take sole responsibility for that. (Literally, 80% chance of rain and it never rained)

In any relationship, the feeling of love sways and fluctuates. What matters is the strength of the intimacy, the friendship, and the understanding that no matter what the other has their back. I love television and an example would be Adam and Kristina Braverman from NBC's show Parenthood. Together they conquered life's hardships and dealt with all of life's curve balls. Together they created and managed so much, it's incredible. All that they were able to achieve was only wrought from the strength of their individual persons acting as a whole and united force. 

But like love,our relationship with Christ will go through hardships but we must endure them with as much grace as possible. In those moments of despair, cry unto the lord because he will always be there. He will always be your partner and you both are a team. So let's build that deep trust and level of commitment to work together. (P.S I've always heard that prayer said from the heart at 3pm are especially heard by God.)

Put your trust in God. Let him help you out. Be humble with your successes and graceful of your failures. He's got a plan and he'll let you know when you're ready. Just don't lose faith. I believe in you and so does He.

Bible Verses to Read:

Isaiah 41:10

Jeremiah 29:11-14

Ups and downs - Galatians 6

It's been an interesting few months. I've been extremely busy with school and I was doing well with working towards strengthening my relationship with Christ but then I hit a snag and BAM I'm where I am now. I don't really know how it happened? I'm just here. Where is here? Here is not going to church every Sunday or even on good Friday. It is being selfish and not looking out for others. It is standing on my own strength and not on God (which doesn't work). Here is not where I want to be.

I know I lost my place by not praying, not reading the bible, and not going to church. My spiritual nourishment was not being replenished and my person became vulnerable to desires of the flesh: power, greed, the works. I didn't realize it until I had a nice long chat with my roommate and her boyfriend. They made me think about what I want and I can tell you, you wouldn't know from my actions. 

I've known I needed to get back into the Word and prayer. To get back in "the loop" you know, the one where God guides you and has a path laid out for you? Yeah I off-roaded it a bit these last few weeks. To do his will you have to be in the loop because on the outside you won't know the directions to go. I also see why my friend Billy said we should take one year of getting closer to God. It's been four months and although I'm not at square one, I'm not where I was. Life. You constantly have to work to keep God in your life and it's not a burden but reality and you should do it with love for the Lord. Don't do it to get good things but because He deserves unending praise and glory. 

Galatians chapter 6.

Key Notes: 

Iron sharpens iron. In the first bit, we see the importance and responsibility of Christians to hold each other accountable but not in a "better than thou" context. You can be proud of yourself but only for your accomplishments and never to judge yourself according to another. No one is better than anyone else as we all have our own burdens. Work as hard as you can, always. 

You sow what you reap. If you sow from the desires of the flesh, it will corrupt you. If you sow from the spirit, you will grow and have eternal life. Desires of the flesh have no other end game than worldly gains. Spiritual incentives always work toward increasing your faith and eternal life. Focus on what's important, when you lose focus pray and get re-nourished and re-centered in Christ. 

6:9 - "So you must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don't give up"

You will get there, just keep focusing and don't lose sight or hope of God's love, mercy, and power. 

Boast about Christ and his role in your life and the gifts he's given you and the faith and love he has for you. Look at all he's done for you. Look at all the positives. Thank him. If there's just negative, thank him for your life and your person and ask him to help you see the positives. 

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I saw a definite decrease in happiness the farther I got from Christ. The more I was falling back into the person I was and the sins that define my human nature. It is a reminder that Christ isn't a one stop unlimited tank you can receive from a few months of closeness but a continual replenishment that we need to keep strong throughout our lifetime. Spiritual replenishment is so important. It keeps us going and strengthens us mentally and spiritually.

Parable Of The Talents - Matthew 25:14-30

This parable was our gospel reading and the focus of the priest's sermon yesterday at church. 

A basic synopsis of the parable is that a man had 3 servants and before he left somewhere he gave them each possessions. To the first, five talents. The second, two. The last, one. The first two used their talents and doubled what they were given. The last, went away and buried it. When the man came back he called for his slaves and was overjoyed that the first two had increased their amount. He told them both, "well done, my good and faithful servant. Since you were faithful in small matters, I will give you great responsibilities. Come, share your master's joy." To the last servant who buried his money, the master was upset and threw him out.

The priest informed us that talents in this case were actually the servants wages: 6,000 days worth. The point of this parable is to emphasize God's desire for his people to be productive. The master was upset at the last servant, saying that he should have at least tried to do something with his talent even if he lost it. God wants us to use what we are given and not be paralyzed by fear of losing or failing. He would prefer if we tried and lost all than do nothing. The priest discussed that although this servant had the least, he still had a significant amount. So even if we feel like we're not much, we are still significant and our contribution makes a difference. The priest then brought up the vocation of laymen which is every catholic's vocation to spread the gospel and our faith to others, to live as God would want us, and to uphold his righteousness as best we can. 

Our talents are the abilities God gave us to live in this world. So basically, talents in their current meaning. Some people are great speakers, or listeners, or good with organizing. We each have skills that should be used to spread the gospel in some way. If you're a good performer, join your church's choir. Spread your faith through music to encourage others to open their hearts to God. If you're good with money, help local shelters to keep their books balanced so they can continue to help others. You don't have to go around preaching to spread the gospel. You can show it to people through your actions and faith. When people ask why you do things, explain your faith and introduce them to Christ. God built and created us so that we could follow his plan. Focus on your abilities and see how you can use them positively in this world. Don't just bury your talents.

Sticking To The Gospel -A Note from Galatians Chapter 1

Verse 1-4 says specifically that Christ died on the cross to save us from the current wickedness of the world in according with God's plan. He died so we could be free from the temptations of the world. He isn't destroying the temptations; he's helping us overcome them through his cross and resurrection by our faith.

Verses 6-10 emphasize the importance of sticking to and preaching the original gospel. Not making changes to gain human favor. This is relevant because we ignore the strict conservative parts of the bible to be included in society. We submerge ourselves into the wrong and let it influence us to change our view. Much like wind erodes rock, outside influences erode our steadfast faith and understanding of the gospel. It can morph it into a combination of Christian values and current ones. Women not being allowed to speak isn't a Christian value & shouldn't be used as a reason to dismiss the bible. Morality and character traits are the values. Being humble, patient, modest, honest, caring, strong, faithful, kind, and good hearted. Keeping firm in what the bible tells you as well. But above all, be accepting of all people. Not everyone believes our religion and we cannot hate them or tell them they are horrible. Be kind and show them Christianity isn't just about sticking to certain rules.  How you react goes in either two ways, one is with a pure mindset while the other is said from self righteousness.

**Don't avoid non-Christians**

Verses 11-24 reiterate the power and importance of the gospel. They're from the All Mighty and should be revered as such. That is what makes the Gospel and the bible different from any other book or piece of writing. The bible is sacred and its knowledge/power is beyond human understanding. We need it to grow and the effect it has is unbelievable. 

Paul's learning and understanding of the Gospel was through Christ working in him so we should heed his remarks. God knew from when he was still in his mother's womb that Paul would go around the world preaching. His testimony is strong and its impact is still felt centuries later. "The one who once was persecuting us is now preaching the faith he once tried to destroy. So they glorified God because of me." Paul isn't boasting but is thankful that his past wrongdoings are saving multitudes. 

Cravings - 1 John 2:16-17

There's a website called GoTandem which sends you bible verses they think are relevant based on a series of questions you answer. Today, one of the emails I received really "hit the spot". It focused on 1 John 2:16-17. Since it's short I  can just write it out:

1 John 2: 16-17

"For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements in our possessions. These are not from the Father, but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever."

I found this passage extremely helpful as I deal with balancing my understanding of myself. I have this strong desire for the nicer things in life. I wanted a Fall coat that cost $600. COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY. To want monetary wealth and objects is not a bad thing. The problem is when you spend more time acquiring these goods than strengthening your relationship with Christ and working on his purpose for you. These verses remind me that in the end these things will go away.

Physical pleasure is a huge struggle too. Don't be overwhelmed by what society is doing and focus on yourself. Everyone has a different standard they like to live up to. I want to save myself for marriage. Do I struggle with it? Of course! I may even fail, but at least I tried. To me, premarital sex is a great earthly example of temporary satisfaction versus a more permanent one. Having sex with people you are not committed to only lasts for so long and the repercussions can be severe. This world is "fading away" and so we should focus on what does not fade, Christ.

Another biggie is our pride. Humans, I find, are innately born with pride. In Heaven, your position as CEO or 3rd in line for the Spanish crown won't matter. People get so infatuated with the idea of being powerful and rich but that isn't true freedom. That ties us down and makes us slaves to our desires. Rationally, as long as you're fed, clothed, and sheltered, it shouldn't matter because the human body only requires/necessitates so much. Everything else is in our minds and heart. What matters is where you spend the rest of forever. Will it be with God in heaven or somewhere significantly less amazing?

The way this Earth is built, it focuses on the most unimportant things. It is our struggle as Christians to balance the desires we have with what God wants from us. If you're meant to be a doctor and save lives, so be it. You can even live in a mansion, just don't forget to be humble and accepting of all people. Don't be an elitist or think of yourself as higher than because you have been blessed by God to lead the life you have. You don't know his reasons for giving each person the life they lead so don't comment on it. I've mentioned my problem areas and these are the tribulations God chose for me. He has faith that I can succeed. Maybe one day I can be a humble millionaire. Or maybe I'll be a middle class woman. Or I might end up poor but that's life not eternity.

Foundation - Job Chapter 1

Before starting studying the Bible the other day I really prayed. I asked that God give me a good passage that I can learn from. I asked that he helped me strengthen my bond with him since it always breaks down if any form of trouble pops up. And I read Job chapter 1:

• Verses 1-5: We are enlightened as to who Job is. A god fearing man who is blessed abundantly.
• What struck out to me was that he would wake up in the morning to burn offerings for his kids so that even if they sinned, God would forgive them. I've always heard that parents' prayers for their children is especially heard by God because it is unselfish and solely professed with love.

• Verses 6-12: Even God sees Job as the most obedient person on Earth and proudly tells Satan about him. Satan questions Job's loyalty because of the smooth and fortunate life he has had thus far. God ALLOWED Satan to tear Job's life apart as long as he did not "lay a hand on Job himself". It is scary that God let Job be put to the test but he knows us well and has extreme faith in us. Never will he let something we cannot handle occur to us.

• Verses 13-19: The devil brought down terror and did everything he could to get Job to turn away from God. He destroyed his home, killed his animals, servants, and even children. The devil did not waste time either, the Bible emphasizes how everything occurred at the same time. When something is repeated in the Word it is important and meant to be taken into account. These verses kept reiterating, "that messenger was still speaking when yet another came and reported" before an event was spoken about. He had no recovery time from one catastrophe before the next one unfolded.

• Verses 20-22: Job's reaction to all of this mayhem was not to curse God but to WORSHIP. He said,

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will leave this life. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Praise the name of 'Yahweh'".

Job's only reaction was to praise God. He made sure to shave his head and be naked not in distress or insanity but to go back to the beginning, To go back to his birth when he was naked and bald because God GAVE him life and has the power to take it away.

Notes:

• One cannot be dismayed because of hardships. Life is full of them because this is our time for trial but God loved us enough to give us this amazing world to enjoy while we are tested. Everything that occurs in our life was approved by God to occur. Sometimes I wonder why he let them happen but he knows best. He may not even need a reason. God was testing Job knowing he could pass and he did. God can test us all he wants. He doesn't need rhyme or reason. The point is not to understand the whys but to understand that it is God's decision and that everything we are/have is from Him.
   
• Job's life was completely turned upside down. He was not expecting it nor did he "deserve" it. Job's reaction to worship God is beautiful. His faith shines as he praises God for giving him what he had. All the things we own or have from the food and clothes to the friendships we hold dear are GIVEN to us by God. He has the right to take them away. God isn't spiteful or horrendous. He has a plan and is a parent. He doesn't do anything with malicious intent. He doesn't let chaos occur because he is bored. He may allow it so we can learn and grow spiritually or He may feel we just don't need to continue as our lives are. Similar to a parent with children, our toys are gifts that can be taken but no parent will just grab away a present to cause pain.

• We are called to be like Job. Not to be childish by screaming, shouting, and throwing tantrums because something we felt was ours (but isn't) is taken from us. No matter what happens, praise and worship God because He gave you life.

In Life:

Our talents and abilities are blessings and gifts that we didn't really need to be given. He chose to give them to me so that we could use them. I need to work on remembering how blessed I am and nothing is truly mine except for my sin. I should praise and worship God instead of cursing because I didn't get my way. God will never give me something I can't handle. If you feel like you can't deal with something, that should be a red flag that your relationship with Christ needs a boost. We can overcome anything life, God, or Satan throws at us with Christ's support.

This to me is what the foundation of my relationship with Christ should be. The understanding that I am blessed, God is merciful, and nothing is mine while everything belongs to God. Having a solid foundation helps you stick to The Lord. It's important because foundations will keep something standing after a hurricane. There will always be something to go back to and start again. Every time you rebuild or learn something that will stick, you are reinforcing your home on that strong foundation.

Introduction

I struggle with keeping Christ involved in my life just like so many people. Basically, I'm going to be using this blog to write and expand on my thoughts. It will also help me figure out how I plan on building, strengthening and renewing my relationship with God. I always hear things such as:

• Keep Christ in the center of your life
• Always praise Him
• Give your life to Him
• Listen to Him
• Make sure Christ is a constant in your life
• Live as godly as possible
• Stay connected and have a strong relationship with Christ

People will also give you various ways you can achieve these goals. Some of the goals are common sense and some can be grouped together as one. I'm going to be jumping around the Bible, piecing together information to give myself and anyone who reads this a sort of trail or path to working on creating and maintaining a connection with God. 

I had created this blog over the summer but never wrote anything for it until now. Since then I feel more encouraged and I have a greater desire to know Christ. I'm single, financially insecure, busy, and a college student. As a single person I have the ability to better put my faith and trust in Jesus AND go to Him for comfort not another person. Financial issues have always been a soft subject for me. Matters of the heart and money are some of my biggest anxiety triggers. This gives me the chance to really trust in God and work on having faith that he will provide for me. I have a horrible habit of pushing God away when I'm in trouble and that is when I need him most. Being in college allows me to go against the grain of the usual spiritually lacking individual and spread God's love and wisdom. By being busy, I learn to not only balance but PRIORITIZE keeping God in my life.